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Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Diary not drinking alcohol Day 2

I can hardly sleep at night.
Although I went to bed at 11 pm, I woke up about 5 times and I did not feel a good sleep.
Am I sleeping for about 2 hours in total?
But I am happy because I can sleep for about 15 minutes in the day at work.

I am going to work after eating bread after 30-minute Zazen meditation in the morning.
My eyes are dry and painful.
My hand trembles as a dependency symptom of my alcohol.
And I feel uneasy.

I get struck by the feeling I want to hit something.
I worked quietly so as not to talk to people as much as possible in my workplace.
I felt as if I was yesterday, my sense of insensitivity and despair.

I come back in the evening and do Zazen meditation for 30 minutes.
I got up in the morning, washing my face and meditating the Zazen.
I came home from work and meditated for Zazen before dinner.
In my case I can focus mostly on hungry, I feel as though I'm not sleepy.

I sometimes can not meditate the Zazen because of the physical condition of the day, but do not worry too much so I always try to keep time of 30 minutes per session.

I often do not feel serotonin at all in 15 minutes and it is highly probable that I feel pretty refreshed feeling after 30 minutes.
I am reading to avoid making as much time as possible after dinner.

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