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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Encounter with Zazen

I graduated from college and started working as a civil servant.

I was a young man who was not really confident at the time and I always thought that everyone around me was better than me.

My stubborn life has begun.
My professional life was bothering people around me and it was really painful.

I was not concentrating and did not feel like living my true self even if I do anything.

My such painful feeling further increased my drinking desire.

From the time I got a job to about 28 years old, as well as the day without a drinking party as a matter of course, I was taking a dinner for 2 liters every evening, including beer, whiskey, and I went to work with a spicy feeling every morning.

I was drinking 365 days a year.

I was pointed out the numerical value of the liver of medical examination, and the doctor had been told me to stop alcohol.

I always felt I was really addicted to alcohol, but I could not stop alcohol.

At that time, there was a program of Zen meditation on TV, I felt it was the perfect way to cure my shortcomings.

So I bought a book of Zazen, I went to a temple that teaches Zazen, I learned it several times and I got to do a 30-minute zazen at home three times a week.

However, I could not feel the effect immediately. And I stopped it because it was painful to keep still for 30 minutes.

After that, I have been away from Zazen for 20 years.

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